


How It All Ends

by Cant_We_Just_Dance



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Implied Torture, Implied Violence, M/M, Pining, Undercover, kidnapping mention, spy AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-07 02:03:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14661059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cant_We_Just_Dance/pseuds/Cant_We_Just_Dance
Summary: Alexander Hamilton had been assigned a simple mission- seduce and capture.Who would have known that the aftermath of these things could be so messy?





	How It All Ends

“So… This is it?” Thomas whispered brokenly, his voice hoarse from disuse and lungs tired from overworking themselves. His eyes squinted open to reveal a dimly lit area that he’d seen before, that he’d known was inevitable for everyone but him. He wasn’t quite used to being proved wrong. The metal shone on a table, and the figure beside them all too familiar. “This is how it all ends?”

“Thomas… You know I didn’t want it to be like this…” Alexander sighed, staring at the man before him. The once mighty feared yet revered Thomas Jefferson, reduced to a man tied to a rickety wooden chair in a musty old building. It wasn’t a new situation for him, only a new perspective. Many a time, he’d pulled the canvas bag off the suspect’s head, stared coldly down at the array of tools for him to use to pull out the truth or an end. But now? Now it was Alexander’s turn. “…I wouldn’t have done this if I had known.”

“Known what?” Thomas asked with ice trailing behind his words as he spoke. The rope burned his skin in places, whether from being rubbed raw or from the transport he didn’t know. He didn’t know much of anything, now that he thought of it. “What knowledge could have kept you from-from doing this to me? To us?”

“…If I knew that I… I would know you… I wouldn’t have joined. I would have picked something else, found a different target, molded my mission into something so much better than this,” Alexander admitted, refusing to look up and meet his eyes. The metal tools glinted menacingly up at him, as though they were aware of their reason for being here, in these moments. Alexander thought them to be lucky, in that sense. “I wouldn’t have met you, I wouldn’t have moved into the stupid magenta apartment with you and pretended to be amazed by the secrecy and danger and computers… I wouldn’t have done it if.. if the plan…”

“Things like these, jobs like ours, they always tell you exactly what’s going to happen; it’s your own fault if you can’t stick to the plan-”

“That’s what I fucking did!” Alexander interjected, taking a shaky step back as his voice echoed through the building, the passion in his heart burning a lower flame as he heard his own words. He cleared his breath. Tucked back his hair. Stood up straight. Smoothed out his dark coat. All of it, each movement, performed perfectly, just in the way he had been taught.

So why was he still afraid?

If he had done everything just right, made himself into a paragon of composure, then why was Thomas staring up at him with eyes not wide in curiosity or fear, but something else entirely. Why was his voice so shaky as he spoke again, trembling more than he had in those final steps before shattering a heart not his own, forgetting that shards can cut?

“The plan was to fall in love. It’s… It’s more convincing, to the target, when it’s real. I give every mission my all, I put everything I’ve got into it. That’s why they wanted me. They wanted it to be believable. Everything down to the time of day we met was carefully calculated. Our first kiss has its own case file, and when we… when you and I… the first morning we had together, after… You held me close and promised to keep me safe. Didn’t ask about the nightmares, or try anything… You just held me until the sun came up. And that’s when I knew I loved you.”

“But you didn’t love me,” Thomas pointed out with far less power in his tone than he would care to admit. “I fell for you, yes, but not the other way around. I let you into my life, I showed you things I wouldn’t dare show anyone else. Told you about my life, my dreams, my… my Martha. You reminded me of her but in such a new, incredible way. It was like she’d picked someone just for me, someone she knew I could love after her. And I told all of that because I knew it to be true. I knew, in my heart, that you could make me love again. But I know now that I was wrong. That trusting you, loving you, and… and leaving myself open to being hurt… was wrong.”

“Hurting you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do…” Alexander breathed out, not daring to let it become its own phrase. “And I wish I’d never accepted this… Because what I’m about to do to you, now? That’s going to be far more difficult.”

Alexander picked up the blade and set to work.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing all of this is pretty hard, but a comment or two makes my hand cramps seem like a thing of the past.


End file.
